Peaks and Valleys
You ever have a day that turns out to be just *exhausting* and leaves you wondering why the hell you bother? With me it’s often not one thing, but a combination of things that build up to the point that I just don’t want to deal with it. I just want to scream at people to go away and leave me alone.
For me, dealing with people at all can be an effort. I’m not really social, especially with more than a few people at a time. That probably sounds odd given my history in theater. I assure you it isn’t. I can adopt a role and deal with lots of people, but it isn’t me, it’s just someone I’m pretending to be for a while and it takes a toll later.
The straw that broke the camel’s back today was a major letdown. I’ve been taking a break from working in theater and recently got talked into working with a group I’ve worked with previously. I had to really psych myself up to even attempt this and the only reason I did was I was told they were interested in tackling serious material for a change. Yeah, that didn’t prove to be the case and I left feeling pretty discouraged about the whole thing. There are a couple of people there that I think are ready to take on a more serious project but I’m not sure it’s enough.
Bah, in the big scheme of things it really doesn’t matter I guess. I know this is just a temporary valley I’m stumbling through after having something I was excited about fail to meet my, probably unreasonable, expectations. It sure leaves me feeling empty and drained right now though and wondering where I’ll find the energy to make it up the next peak.
I hate to say the old “we’ve all been there before” because it’s so cliche!
Honestly, I think the whole acting thing is VERY cool. I can understand why you’d be feeling let down after they tell you one thing but present another…no doubt I’d feel let down too. But like you said, you’re in a temporary valley…you may be there for a little bit but eventually, you’ll come out the other side on top, you know?
I think that’s the biggest problem when dealing with people. They let you down. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I sometimes close myself off from people ~ it’s a self-preservation. I don’t like getting hurt, so I don’t let them in my life. Or, maybe, I don’t want to rely on them because in the past, they have let me down.
M~
I’m feeling better this morning already, it was just temporarily demoralizing!
Thanks for the comments…
Okay, since you didn’t say what the pieces involved were, and because I’m a theatre geek, I’m filling in the gaps… you wanted to do Uncle Vanya, and they wanted to do what…? Sound of Music? Those details interest me.
I get Peopled-Out. That’s my term for it. Hope you have something fun on the horizon to project toward. That helps me too.
~S
Ok, I was brought in to direct and I pitched George Bernard Shaw’s “Saint Joan”… they wanted to do a one act comedy that they have yet to pick. It’s most a group of young (high school and college aged) actors and most of them aren’t willing to step up to doing a piece that might challenge them. At least, not yet… I haven’t given up all hope…