Privacy of the Mind

Shephard tagged me with this meme. it’s apparently not enough that he’s influencing my eating habits and trying to temp me into joining his Jamba Juice cult. Now he’s interrogating me as well. Fine, so be it…

1. Describe Your Dream House/Environment
Ok, you probably think this is an easy question to answer but it’s really not. I’m totally not into home ownership. I’ve flirted with buying a house recently but I’m just not that enthused about it. My ultimate dream house would be *no* house I think. Instead, I’d like to get rid of most of my possessions and buy a surplus military cargo truck that could be converted into a off-road camper and have enough cargo capacity left to haul a dual-sport motorcycle. Then I’d just see where life takes me.

If I *had* a compelling reason to have a fixed residence, then I’d like either a small place similar to what I have now in a seedy neighborhood where I can preserve my privacy and no one bugs me, or perhaps a small cabin in the mountains somewhere. As long as broadband is available. I have to have some way to post photos on Flickr, that’s non-negotiable.

2. Favorite physical feature of the same and opposite sex?
A pulse, that’s mandatory despite my obsession with the undead. Well, unless you’re a drop dead sexy vampire. Then I might be willing to find a compromise. After that comes a brain, and the ability to use it. If you can’t hold up your end of the conversation I don’t care about your other attributes.

Other purely physical traits… well I like a fair complexion, tanning doesn’t really do anything for me. A few curves are nice, I’m not interested in a person that looks like they’re starving. Apart from that my range of tastes and interests run pretty far afield.

3. What’s the last entire CD you fell in love with and couldn’t stop playing?
Hmm, it’s rare that I like an *entire* CD even given the large amounts of music I consume on a regular basis. Fairly recently I started listening to Biffy Clyro and really like nearly all of their Puzzle and Infinity Land discs. Two other discs that came out this past year that I enjoy as complete albums even more than as individual tracks are the Scorpion’s Humanity: Hour One and Nine Inch Nails’ Year Zero.

4. What song do you want played at your funeral/wake?
I’ve actually had this conversation with my ex… I want Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes. Yeah, it’s a little cliche but I just love that song on the pipes. I can even remember the first time I heard it. It was a very surreal experience. I was waiting to catch the bus to school early one winter morning in Savannah, Georgia. It must have been my freshman or sophomore year of high school. I was the only one at my stop. As I stood their waiting, I suddenly heard a pipe ring out playing Amazing Grace. I have no idea who it was or where it was coming from. I’m pretty sure I didn’t hallucinate it though. At least, I hope not.

5. What’s your Least Favorite errand to run?
Hmm… I don’t really run that many errands. I do just about everything online. And I like to drive, so on the rare occasion I *do* run an errand, I don’t actually mind. I work at home so I can take care of things like that while everyone else is at work, no traffic!

6. Three things that really steam your broccoli! (make you angry)
Well, I have a wok and I steam a lot of broccoli in that…. what? That’s not what you meant? Oh… I missed the parens.

Hmm, to be completely honest I work very hard to *never* get angry. About anything. As a consequence I’m extremely laid back about just about everything. I’ve had to learn to be that way because I grew up with a violent temper. It took a fair amount of counseling to learn to deal with it.

That said, politicians annoy me, as do people that drive while talking on a cell phone. Actually, people that talk on cell phones in restaurants too. Or in public, at all. Ok, cell phones period annoy me. If I must have a third I suppose I’ll add in people that aren’t aware of the space around them. For example, people that stop to carry on a conversation in the middle of a grocery store aisle, backing up traffic in both directions.

7. Do you believe in an afterlife?
How do you know this *isn’t* it?

8. Favorite children’s book?
Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein… no seriously, he wrote it as a juvenile book!

9. Why is Hunt For Red October your all-time favorite movie?
Two reasons really… first I aspire to be Russian. I’d love to visit Russia and have a strong desire to learn to speak Russian. This has nothing to do with politics, I just have a strong respect for the the Russian *people*. Second, I love the scene where the Red October is departing on it’s mission and the crew begins singing.

10. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
A super efficient metabolism that processed chocolate chip cookies and ice cream just as well as broccoli and whole grains. I know, I know… it’s not a huge, flashy power, I am a humble man.

BONUS QUESTION:
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Clearly the official answer is… Three